Dear Diary
by the Cheshire Cat
Summary: Things Dana Tan contemplates in the privacy of her room...


Dear Diary  
by ^death^ Himura  
  
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Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. This is random fanfiction. If you're not open-minded enough to accept it then I'm sorry. I can't help you there. Flame if you must, though do note, I won't be paying attention to em'. Plus, there's always the quirk of deleting ill-natured reviews. Just remember, this is fiction. You're a writer. If you wanna criticise my work, make sure it's got a good and substantial reason.  
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Dear Diary,  
  
I just found out something. Something I thought I could deny by just ignoring it every minute of the day.  
  
But things like this can't be denied. Want to know why? Because they're like a thorn in your side. They'll just dig deeper and deeper into your skin until you pry it out and open for all the world to see. So what is it I'm denying? What is it that I'm trying to hide from the rest of mankind?  
  
I'm trying to hide love.  
  
I don't know when I realised this. I don't even know why I'm still revelling in it until now. I mean... It... It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him.  
  
Him and all his excuses, him and all his lies. Him who escorted me to and from school, not truly once leaving by my side until his mobile started ringing and he's off to save Gotham from yet another escapade of crime.  
  
How I knew?  
  
I'm not an idiot. I'm a straight A student, I'm going to take human psyche when I enter college. And then I'm going to be a psychologist. I read people, I understand body language and I damn well understand Terry McGinnis. I know him all too well. So well that when I uncovered the truth behind those lies my heart aches. And yet I still love him. So much that I'm willing to sacrifice everything for him.  
  
He doesn't know that I do.  
  
He doesn't know that everytime he runs off to meet Mr. Wayne I pray desperately for his safety, that'll he'll return back to me in one piece. He doesn't know that everytime I read an article about Batman involved in yet another crime bust that my hand trembles and my face turns pale.   
  
He doesn't know.  
  
To him I'm just his girlfriend, perhaps an accessory to his social standing in school. Someone to just kill time with when he's not donning on the "I'm Batman and I save Gotham City from crime." gimmick. Why is it that only women suffer from the love-bug. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of just standing down there, day after day, watching him go off and leave and do God only knew what. I'm tired of playing the role of dumb-blind girlfriend.  
  
He thinks I don't know. Even Max doesn't think I know. But I do... oh God save me... I do.  
  
I know his... his dealings with that girl from the club. I know they spent time together... that they've gone out together. He's not the only fella who's allowed contacts you know. I wanted to be angry with him, furious, mad and just boiling with rage. But no... all thanks to love I'm this sick worried puppy who keeps fretting about him. I don't like this... I don't like this at all.  
  
I don't want to depend on him, I don't want to have this need for him. I don't want to love him. But I guess diary, it's what we don't want that we end up getting. And now Aprhodite has decided to play this cruel joke on me.  
  
She's made me fallen in love with him... all over again.  
  
Love,  
Dana  
  
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Dana turned off the word processor, shut the computer down and then went to her closet to hide the small black disc she had used. For a moment, her hand lingered over the circular disc, her eyes fluttering to a close. A soft autumn breeze entered her room, causing the ebony strands of her hair to sway slightly, molding to her delicate form.  
  
She sighed, locked the drawer and then shut the closet. Leaning against the metallic box, she glanced outside her window to where the pale luminous moon glowed. A small smile lit her featuresand then she slumped to the floor, her body racked with sobs. 


End file.
